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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24695653">Joseph's Brother (part two)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamela_rose/pseuds/Pamela%20Rose'>Pamela Rose (pamela_rose)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Joseph's Brother [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: The Original Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:02:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24695653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamela_rose/pseuds/Pamela%20Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how you become a captain in the Mirror universe. But the long and winding road will lead to a certain Vulcan. So it's all got to be worth it, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Other(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Joseph's Brother [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Joseph's Brother (part two)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Reposted with new ending, some rewriting and many corrections of typos. Originally printed in Out of Bounds in 1984.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Captain Garrovick of the I.S.S. Farragut was not pleased with this assignment. Famines were boring and so were dead bodies, whether they died from phaser fire, poison or starvation. All three types of corpse littered the landscape of Tarsus IV, and the cleanup was a smelly, messy business. Most of the survivors looked hardly better than the ones who hadn’t. The exceptions to this were, naturally, residents of the Governor’s palace.</p><p>Sean Garrovick had witnessed enough stupid destruction and waste during his career in the Imperial Starfleet to become inured to a scene such as this. But the utter pointlessness of it turned his stomach. There had been no need for the open executions or the poisoned rations doled out to the rioters who had finally rebelled against Kodos’ “selections”. Garrovick had been informed by his security chief, Reynolds, that there was enough grain in the storage bins to have fed the entire population for at least another two months. Kodos had insured his life and the continuance of his regime with the death of thousands—none of whom would have had to die if Kodos hadn’t panicked.</p><p>Disgusted as much by the well-fed and healthy occupants of the palace as by the carnage elsewhere in the city, Garrovick followed Karas, Kodos’ Vice-regent, to the Governor’s quarters. Karas, like the others who had been under Kodos’ special protection, didn’t seem to have missed a meal during the crisis. He was lean and supple, but it was a physique created more by careful diet rather than deprivation. Although easily in his forties, he exuded an expensive, calculated aura of youth, his voice silky, his hand gestures were effusive and slightly fluttery. In spite of the effeminate actions, Garrovick received an impression more reptilian than feminine.</p><p>“I will show you the body, of course,” Karas said nervously, catching the hard accusation in the Captain’s eyes. “When the Governor heard the news of your arrival, he could not bear the thought of all the lives lost in vain. We didn’t think a rescue ship would arrive in time, you see.”</p><p>“So you say he committed suicide?”</p><p>Karas clutched his hands together in an overacted gesture of despair. “Such a tragedy! The guilt he felt . . . the remorse . . . A terrible mistake—”</p><p>Garrovick cut him off angrily, “Where is he?”</p><p>“In here, Captain.” Karas ushered him through purple velvet curtains that led the way to Kodos’ bed chamber.</p><p>The Captain inspected the corpse with distaste. “This is Kodos? The face has been blasted away.”</p><p>“Yes . . . well . . . ” The limpid hands fluttered apologetically.</p><p>“That’s not Kodos.” The voice came from the doorway.</p><p>Garrovick spun around to face the figure that leaned weakly against the arch. “Who are you?”</p><p>The boy didn’t reply. Karas answered quickly, “That’s Kirk. He was the Governor’s . . . ward.”</p><p>The boy uttered a harsh laugh at that and moved unsteadily into the room to stand beside the bed. He stared down at the burned-out face without expression. “That’s not Kodos. Kodos isn’t dead.”</p><p>Garrovick looked the boy over, puzzled. He was painfully thin and pale, the huge grey/green eyes the only color in the fine-featured face, his expression wooden. This was the first gaunt appearance Garrovick had seen since entering the palace.</p><p>“Why do you think that’s not Kodos?” the Captain demanded.</p><p>Karas broke in before Kirk could speak, “He’s delirious, Captain. You can’t listen to the child. He’s been a trouble-maker since he first arrived. If the Governor hadn’t been so fond of him—”</p><p>“Let him speak!” Garrovick snapped. “Go on, boy.”</p><p>Kirk’s eyes closed tiredly, and the Captain noted how translucent and pure the skin of his cheeks was, how long the dark eyelashes that lay against them. “Kodos is too much of a coward to kill himself. He didn’t have the guts.”</p><p>Karas glanced at the Captain nervously. “The Governor knew the Emperor would be appalled at the—”</p><p>“Massacre?” Garrovick put in helpfully, eyes hard.</p><p>“The . . . unfortunate turn of events. He could not face the shame of it.”</p><p>“He knew the Emperor would have him tortured to death for the loss of revenue,” Kirk said, the weariness and disillusionment in the voice belied the youth of its owner. “So he ran away like the weakling he is. He’ll hide until he can bribe his way out with the money he stole from the treasury.”</p><p>“The boy is mad!” Karan insisted. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Just look at him; he’s ready to faint from hunger—” Karas stopped as he realized his mistake. “It was his own doing. He refused his portion of food. If the Governor hadn’t ordered him force-fed . . . Anyway, he was only doing it to get his own way. A spoiled brat, unhappy and ungrateful for all the advantages the Governor gave him. If I’d had my way, I’d have let him starve himself.”</p><p>Garrovick ignored him, turning back to the boy. “Why? It looks like you were one of the lucky ones. Did you want to die like the others?”</p><p>The boy shrugged listlessly. “The others had more reason to live than I did. What difference did it make?”</p><p>Garrovick was silent for a moment. “If Kodos was so fond of you, why didn’t he take you with him when he escaped? That is, if you’re telling the truth about him running.”</p><p>The large eyes glittered with the fire of hate. “Because he knew I would kill him if he didn’t have his guards to stop me.”</p><p>Intrigued, Garrovick asked, “Why would you want to kill your guardian?”</p><p>“Guardian!” The word was spat out like a curse. “I was his bed-boy, bought and paid for.”</p><p>“I see.” Garrovick had surmised as much, knowing Kodos’ reputation for collecting attractive young boys. And this Kirk <em>was</em> beautiful, there was no denying that, even now, as painfully thin and weak as he was. Above all, Garrovick admired the fire he saw in the eyes, burning brightly despite his weakness and the shame of what he had been subjected to by Kodos.</p><p>“Where is your home?” Garrovick asked.</p><p>“Nowhere,” the reply was almost a whisper.</p><p>It was Karas’ turn to speak. “The Governor had him brought from Earth, so you can see the favor he did—”</p><p>“Earth?” Garrovick was startled. He had been born on Terra himself, but he had been one of the fortunate few that had been handpicked for the Academy and escaped the smothering prison of mankind’s home world.</p><p>“Yes. And he wasn’t even grateful for—”</p><p>“At least he wouldn’t have starved there,” Garrovick pointed out coldly.</p><p>“He wouldn’t have starved <em>here</em> if he had cooperated . . . ” Karas trailed off. Then his fawning subservience changed. The black eyes reminded the Captain of a snake more than ever. “Everyone has to pay a price,” he said savagely.</p><p>Garrovick pulled out his communicator but hesitated before opening it. “Do you have any relatives, Kirk?”</p><p>The boy started to speak but stopped and lowered his head. “No,” he said softly. “No one.”</p><p>“Garrovick to Farragut. Two to beam up.”</p><p>Karas stepped forward as the Captain put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”</p><p>“I’m taking him back to the ship.”</p><p>“What about me?” Karas asked nervously.</p><p>“You? I suppose the crowd outside will tear you apart, along with the rest of Kodos’ henchmen, once they realize that Starfleet has no intention of protecting you.”</p><p>“But . . . you can’t leave! I demand protection! The Emperor—”</p><p>For the first time, Garrovick smiled. “The Emperor doesn’t give a damn about any of you now that you’ve made a mess of this planet. Failure irritates him.” The smile widened just slightly. “Everyone has to pay a price.”</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>The next two weeks were very busy for Garrovick as he put Tarsus IV back to order under the “benevolent” rule of the Emperor. There wasn’t much left of the palace after the mob was finished—and nothing left of the palace elite—but the Captain was certain that the next governor sent to Tarsus IV would build an even bigger palace, and nothing would change very much. It never did. Kodos was never found, but no one has looked very hard. For one thing, it was difficult to know if the capricious Emperor would change his mind at some future date and declare Kodos a hero of the Empire rather than publicly declare his choice for governor had been a disaster. It was always wiser to let such matters ride until they resolved themselves with an assassin’s dagger.</p><p>Garrovick had dropped the boy, Kirk, off at the Sickbay and immediately turned his attention back to his work. He didn’t bother to puzzle over why he had been so merciful. He knew that his own weaknesses were not all that removed from Kodos’, although Garrovick had long ago learned to govern his passions far better than Kodos had ever governed a planet. He knew he desired the boy in much the same way Kodos had—at least he would if the promise of Kirk’s beauty was fulfilled once his health was regained. And he liked the spirit of the boy. But until the Farragut had finished its business on Tarsus IV and was back on normal patrol, Garrovick spared him little thought.</p><p>The Captain was in his office, clearing up some reports, when the call came from Sickbay.</p><p>“How long do you intend to keep that boy in my Sickbay, Captain?” the Doctor demanded with irritation. “He’s underfoot most of the day.”</p><p>“Is he healthy?”</p><p>“There was nothing wrong with him that some solid food and vitamins didn’t remedy. He’s still a little anemic and shaky, but that’s as much emotional as physical.” There was a short silence. “Pretty kid, Cap.”</p><p>“Is he? Send him to my quarters and let’s see.” Garrovick sat back in his chair, grinning, knowing that Doc was smothering a snicker on his side. He knew the Captain’s tastes as well as any, but even he didn’t quite dare to show open disrespect. Garrovick ran a tight ship.</p><p>A short time later, the door buzzer announced the boy’s arrival. He entered the cabin warily, his nervousness made obvious by his too-straight shoulders and the slight trembling of his hands. But his eyes were defiant as he met the Captain’s gaze.</p><p>“How are you feeling, Kirk?”</p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>Garrovick nodded, inspecting the boy with an appreciative eye, liking what he saw. It was apparent the lad had strong recuperative powers, for he looked amazingly better. He was still thin, but no longer gaunt, and some of the color had returned to his face. Where his hair had once been limp and darkened from poor nutrition, it now curled healthily on his forehead, framing the perfect face in brown/gold waves. The eyes still seemed huge, however, wide now with uncertainty, the eyelashes indecently long.</p><p>“Do you have another name, besides Kirk?”</p><p>He hesitated, then answered, “Jim.”</p><p>“Well, Jim, how did you come to be on Tarsus IV?”</p><p>Fury flashed like lightning in the hazel eyes. “It wasn’t by choice.”</p><p>“Really? Most people would do anything to get away from Earth. What makes you different?”</p><p>The boy didn’t reply, but his gaze dropped to the floor.</p><p>Garrovick sat back in his chair. “So you were shanghaied.” It wasn’t a question. The situation wasn’t new; it was as old as time. “You might find it hard to believe right now, but your kidnappers did you a real favor. There aren’t many ways off that hell-hole now, and any chance is better than none.”</p><p>“It’s not like that,” Kirk said angrily. “I would have been able to immigrate. I was in the quota—” He broke off, jaw clenched on some memory he couldn’t articulate.</p><p>“How? Unless you—”</p><p>“My father was in the ‘fleet,” the boy cut in, chin lifting proudly. “I had already tested Q-1. I was slated for the Academy in a few months.”</p><p>“So, what happened?” Garrovick prodded. He had sensed a story here and found himself curious to know who had sold the boy out. Kirk seemed like a smart kid—too smart to be caught off guard by random flesh-peddlers. And it was also becoming obvious that what had happened to him had taken something from him he hadn’t been willing to give. The boy had been betrayed by someone he trusted—perhaps even loved.</p><p>Kirk started to answer, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it?” Garrovick watched him for a long time, trying to judge if he had really discovered a rough diamond in this skinny, beautiful child. There was something in the boy’s nature that he appreciated. He wasn’t attempting to hide his anguish, but he wasn’t trying to play it for sympathy either.</p><p>Unable to bear the silent scrutiny any longer, Kirk finally burst out, ‘What do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?”</p><p>Garrovick smiled. “I think you’re smart enough to figure that out,”</p><p>The boy swallowed. “Yeah, I guess I am.”</p><p>There was another long silence. Kirk bit his lip anxiously, looking ready to bolt for the door but well aware there was nowhere to run.</p><p>“So what are you waiting for?” he demanded at last. The slight tremble of his lips revealed his dread, but his eyes were hard and resigned.</p><p>Garrovick’s smile deepened. “For you to agree.”</p><p>The boy laughed bitterly. “You must be joking. Agree to rape? Sure, why not?”</p><p>“That’s not the way it has to be. It’s certainly not what I want.”</p><p>“Just what <em>do</em> you want? Stop playing games.”</p><p>Garrovick sighed and stood up. He moved to stand close to the boy. Kirk didn’t flinch away, but every muscle in his body tensed. “I’m giving you a choice, boy. Whatever happens, whatever you decide, I’m not going to hurt you—ever.”</p><p>“What kind of choice?” Kirk asked suspiciously.</p><p>“Not a very good one, I’m afraid. I can’t take you back to Tarsus; the people would rip you apart for having lived in the Palace. I doubt if they’d stop to ask if you enjoyed your stay there, or if you were a willing guest. But I can take you back to Earth.” He held up his hand to stop the boy from speaking. “You should consider this carefully. If I take you back to Earth, it’ll probably mean you’ll stay there for good. How long have you been missing?”</p><p>“Eight months,” the voice was a whisper.</p><p>“I’m sure your place in the Academy was revoked the day after you failed to report. If you go back, there won’t be much of a future for you. You’ll be just another body on the dole. You won’t starve; you’d probably live another sixty or seventy years, unless you are killed in a riot. But you’d eventually turn into little better than a zombie. You know what it’s like.”</p><p>“Or?” the voice was choked.</p><p>“Or you can stay with me.”</p><p>Kirk’s teeth clenched. “And be your whore.”</p><p>“At first, perhaps. But at least you have a choice. I won’t force you. I don’t want that.”</p><p>“Some choice,” Kirk scoffed.</p><p>Garrovick’s finger traced a soft line across the silky skin of the boy’s cheek. “It’s not a pleasant universe. You have a lot to learn. Maybe I can teach you.”</p><p>Kirk jerked away. “I don’t want to learn anything from you!”</p><p>Angry, Garrovick took him by the shoulders and shook him. “Think, you foolish child! You’re being offered a chance here—one you probably wouldn’t have even if you had made the Academy. You’re on a <em>starship</em>! Did your dreams ever dare to include that?”</p><p>The boy’s eyes were wide, still confused, but a glimmer of the possibilities was surfacing.</p><p>“Did you have any idea of how slim the chances were that you would ever set foot on a starship other than a colony transport?”</p><p>“Yes, I knew,” he whispered. Then louder, “But I <em>would</em> have made it. I would have!”</p><p>Garrovick released him and stepped back. “Maybe you’re right, kid. I can almost believe it.” He shook his head. “But not now. Not if you return to Earth. You’ll never step foot off-planet again. I’m sure you are aware of that.”</p><p>The boy didn’t reply, but he had paled again and his eyes were fastened on the floor.</p><p>The Captain watched him for a moment, then continued, “Okay, so there’s a price. That bastard Karas was correct about that—there is <em>always</em> a price. I already told you that it’s a harsh universe. The weak have to pay their dues. And right now, you simply don’t have the power to change the rules of the game.” Garrovick cupped the boy’s face in his hands, infinitely gentle, lifting it to look in his eyes. “I suspect there is more to you than this, but what you have to offer now is . . . beauty. That’s no small thing. It has a value. Don’t dismiss it. Use it as you would any asset. Be patient, boy. It won’t always be this way. If you stay with me willingly, I swear I’ll give you an opportunity to be more. You’ll have to earn it, but if you prove to me you’re worth more, I’ll help you.”</p><p>“And until then?”</p><p>“Until then, you pay your way with coin you do possess. You’ll be my yeoman—and you’ll sleep in my bed.” The Captain’s hand smoothed back the ragged lock of hair from the boy’s forehead. “Is it so much to pay? Outside that door, I’m a hard man. I have to be to hold on to what l have. But here . . . ” The gesture on the hair turned into a caress. “. . . here, I can be very kind. I’m not Kodos. Be smart, Jim. Don’t throw away your best chance.”</p><p>The boy’s shoulders slumped. A single tear escaped the long lashes to slip down his face. “Oh god . . .”</p><p>Surprised at the sudden break in the armor, Garrovick held him. “What is it? I told you I wouldn’t force you. I won’t hurt you, I swear it.”</p><p>“Once . . .” The boy spoke against the older man’s shoulder, voice muffled and hoarse, “. . . once something happened to me . . . something that hurt me, nearly destroyed me. I swore I would never let it happen again. But it’s never stopped. I can’t seem to stop it . . .”</p><p>Guessing what it was, Garrovick held him closer. “It’s stopped now. There is a difference this time. You have a choice.”</p><p>The Captain knew it was not a true choice. The boy was frightened and had his back against a wall. Earth was not an acceptable alternative—not to anyone who had ever lived there. But the future was for Kirk to make, and on the Farragut he had his best gamble of making it. Garrovick also knew he could make the ‘payment’ enjoyable—and that was something the boy had never had.</p><p>The thought excited him even more, and he bent to touch the soft lips with his own. They didn’t pull back from his, but neither did they open for him. “Jim?”</p><p>With a slight shudder, the boy’s muscles relaxed. “What difference can it make now. It doesn’t matter anymore.”</p><p>Garrovick didn’t enjoy this apathetic surrender but he was confident enough in his own abilities to believe that would alter as Kirk learned to trust him. The Captain kissed him again, slipping his tongue lightly along the border of the teeth until they parted to admit him. The kiss was long and sensual, teasing and inviting the boy’s tongue to participate.</p><p>“How old are you?” Garrovick asked, brushing against Jim’s ear.</p><p>“Sixteen in a month.”</p><p>“Old enough.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“To enjoy this. Kodos was very stupid. Giving pleasure can be just as gratifying.” The caressing hands moved over the young body, hoping for some sign of involvement or interest, but Kirk remained limp and uncaring.</p><p>Unable to wait longer, Garrovick led the unresisting figure to the bed. The boy lay down, as malleable as soft wax, but totally indifferent. His eyes were closed, as if blocking off reality. The Captain undressed quickly and turned his attention to removing Jim’s clothing, piece by piece, patiently stroking each limb as it was uncovered, watching for reaction.</p><p>When they were both nude, he lay down beside the unmoving body. He kissed him for a very long time, luxuriating in the warm, young mouth, waiting for the boy to forget his fear and the black memories of his other experiences.</p><p>Garrovick took his time, teasing and caressing with every trick in his vast repertoire. At last he was rewarded with a breathless gasp. He looked up to see that the boy’s eyes had flown open with surprise. Garrovick smiled, repeating the caress up the inside of the thigh. “You like that?”</p><p>Jim’s eyes screwed shut again and his body tensed.</p><p>“Don’t, Jim. Don’t fight it. You’ve cut off this part of life because you’ve always associated it with pain and humiliation. It doesn’t have to be like that. Not anymore.”</p><p>The boy was trembling, poised on the edge of something dark and mysterious. He fought it, out of habit, out of shame. Feeling the pleasure frightened him more than the pain. He was accustomed to suffering, but this silky delight was something with which he didn’t know how to deal. It was so different than the secret pleasuring he sometimes worked on himself. This was powerful, sweeping.</p><p>Garrovick continued crooning to him, sliding sensual fingers over heated flesh, whispering exciting but comforting images, seeking his private core of fantasy. The older man sank his mouth to the boy’s center, leaving the hardening penis with a gentle, knowing tongue. Jim cried out, then clutching at the Captain’s head involuntarily, face transfixed with the ecstasy of it.</p><p>He was burning, searing, lifting . . . And when Garrovick moved to take him, Jim found he wanted that as well. Wanted power now as well as gentleness. Desired the hard grip on his arms, the overwhelming kiss that swallowed his breath, the quick strong thrusts deep inside him, sparking flickers of lightning through his blood as the invader touched the hidden nerve.</p><p>When it was over they were both bathed in sweat, sticky with the result of the storm. Jim was shaking harder than ever, his arm covering his face.</p><p>Garrovick tugged the barrier away gently and kissed him. “What is it, boy?”</p><p>Jim shook his head. “Why did you do that to me? You’re crueler than Kodos.”</p><p>“Perhaps. But you loved it, didn’t you? You needed to see it can be good.”</p><p>“You <em>made</em> me like it! It wasn’t my choice. Now I don’t even have that.” There was a bright sheen of tears in the hazel eyes, “Damn you. Damn you.”</p><p>Garrovick stroked him soothingly. “But you <em>did</em> enjoy it. And you’ll want more of it now. And each time the surrender will be easier.”</p><p>“No,” Jim said stubbornly. “Not until I have a choice. Not until I’m free.”</p><p>“Foolish child; in life who is ever <em>free</em>?”</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>Nogura, Head of the Emperor’s Imperial Starfleet, was an enigmatic man. It was whispered in secret corners that he was even a descendent of one of the major satraps of the Eugenics Wars and that the blood of the “supermen” flowed in his dark veins. It was true that no one knew his exact age. He could have been sixty or six hundred for all anyone knew of his past before becoming the Emperor’s right hand. It was also rumored that his power at times was even greater than the Emperor’s. It was obvious that he was more knowledgeable and formidable.</p><p>His round face had a definitely Asian cast, but his skin was an unlined mahogany, and his cheekbones and nose showed the mark of a particular Terran tribe of Native-American. The eyes were large and black, slightly slanted, and the only expressive feature in the bland face, and even they seemed to absorb the light, reflecting little to nothing of his thoughts.</p><p>Sean Garrovick sat in a chair across from the massive desk. He hated these personal reports to the Head, as infrequent as they were. He hated Nogura, although he owed him almost everything. Perhaps that was what he resented most of all.</p><p>The onyx worry beads in Nogura’s fingers clicked together in a monotonous rhythm, like a clock ticking off the seconds as all nuances of the Captain’s report were considered.</p><p>Garrovick could feel himself sweating.</p><p>“Very well,” Nogura said at last. “It seems satisfactory. Other options can be reviewed later.”</p><p>Relieved, Garrovick stood. “Will that be all, sir?”</p><p>“No. Something else has been called to my attention. Sit down.”</p><p>With clenched jaw, the Captain seated himself again, wondering what petty infringement his first officer, Gables, had reported.</p><p>“You have a new pet I hear. A boy you obtained up on Tarsus IV.”</p><p>“This can hardly be news,” Garrovick replied. “Kirk’s been with me for nearly a year.”</p><p>“True, but in the last few months he’s become more than a toy. Gables reports that you’ve assigned the child as relief navigator and have been training him on weapons.”</p><p>“Yes, I have. We lost our chief navigator in that skirmish with the Klingons near Alta 3. I moved Boroughs up to replace him and put Kirk on as relief. He had received a great deal of self-training in navigation on Terra. His testing indicated high talent in that disciple. He can handle it.”</p><p>“Indeed? How old is this boy?”</p><p>“He’s nearly seventeen.” His eyes met Nogura’s with a touch of defiance. “About the same age I was when you picked me up.”</p><p>The black eyes glinted with amusement. “I picked you for your talent, not your pretty face. You were the most proficient navigator in the class.”</p><p>“Then perhaps you are willing to trust my judgement on this. Kirk is better than I was.”</p><p>“Without Academy training?”</p><p>“I’m training him . . . for now. He’s a natural.”</p><p>Suddenly Nogura snapped on a viewer by his desk. To Garrovick’s surprise, it lit up a holo of Jim. “You’re asking me to believe you didn’t pick <em>him</em> for his pretty face?”</p><p>Garrovick grinned, feeling more at ease. “At first, yes, that was the reason. But you know it wouldn’t have gone farther if that was all there was to him.”</p><p>Nogura studied the holo. “He is a lovely child. And you say there is a mind there, too? Interesting if true. Gables doesn’t agree.”</p><p>Garrovick took a deep breath. “Gables is an ass. There have been two assassination attempts in the last month.”</p><p>“Since you are still living, I take it they were unsuccessful. Have you evidence he was behind them?”</p><p>“He’s an ass, but he’s not stupid. Still, I know it’s Gables. I’ll have to dispose of him, you know.”</p><p>Nogura nodded: “See that it is discreet.”</p><p>Garrovick smiled. “I am hardly a novice.”</p><p>“This boy, if he has such talent, why haven’t you sponsored him at the Academy?”</p><p>The Captain hesitated. “I . . . He’s still very young. Eventually, I will see that—”</p><p>“In other words, you’re not ready to give him up yet. Very well, keep him. But keep him on a short leash, the pup may turn and bite. I’ve never found gratitude a dependable bankable asset.”</p><p>Garrovick stiffened, knowing the last was a direct shot at his own resentment of Nogura. There was nothing he could say. It was not the first time he had considered the similarities, and it was true that he would never be able to totally trust Kirk. More surprising was the fact that it saddened him.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>“Do you love me, boy?” Garrovick whispered in a weak moment.</p><p>The honey-colored head lifted from his groin and laughed. “That wasn’t part of the deal, was it?”</p><p>The Captain leaned forward, touching the face gently. “Do you?”</p><p>The amusement fled from Kirk’s eyes, turning to wariness. “Don’t ask me that.”</p><p>Hand combing through the bright hair sensuously, Garrovick pulled him closer. “Tell me. I want to know.”</p><p>Kirk moved away abruptly and left the bed. He stood a few feet away, body shining even in the dim light. Garrovick could see the wet sheen of sweat on his back from their lovemaking.</p><p>“A long time ago, you told me it was a hard universe,” Kirk said slowly. “The only thing that has changed is that I’ve learned how to live in it.”</p><p>Puzzled, the Captain sat up on the edge of the bed. “Jim, come here.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Kirk spun around. “You asked me if I loved you. That wasn’t what you were buying by letting me stay. You were buying a whore and you got it. But you can’t trade for what you’re asking me. It’s not on sale.”</p><p>“But it’s been over a year, Jim. What was true at the beginning is different now.”</p><p>“Is it?” Kirk demanded. “Will you let me walk out that door, take a separate cabin? I work on this ship now. I pay my dues in other ways. Is that enough for you? Would you let that be enough?”</p><p>“Would you come back to me on your own?” Garrovick asked softly.</p><p>The boy’s gaze wavered. “I don’t know. I can’t promise. It has to be a clean break before I can decide that.”</p><p>“Jim, it’s been good for you, too. You can’t deny that.”</p><p>“So answer my question! Will you let me go?”</p><p>There was a long silence before the Captain spoke. He sighed. “No, Jim. I can’t risk it. I want you too much to lose you.”</p><p>Kirk’s eyes shut tightly before he let out the breath he was holding. “Then don’t ask me that question again, ever. There’s no answer for it.”</p><p>“Jim—”</p><p>But the boy returned to the bed and made love to him with a fierceness that drove away all thoughts of love, leaving only passion.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>The worry beads lay silent on the desk as he faced the young man across it. Nogura’s eyes swept the figure, seeing what Garrovick saw in it and more. Unlike Garrovick, however, his interest wasn’t sexual in nature. Nogura’s lust was for power and control. And this boy was worthy of owning for furthering that purpose. But unlike Garrovick, this one would not be easily controlled. There was determination and a quiet stubbornness in the set of the jaw that Nogura approved. For one so young he had an amazing aura of strength; a strength born of knowing how to yield while retaining the confidence it would not always be necessary.</p><p>“So you were Garrovick’s ‘boy’.”</p><p>If the appellation stung him, it was obvious only in the quick flash of anger in his eyes, the face remained stoic. “I was the Captain’s weapons officer and relief navigator, sir.”</p><p>“Both positions you lost when the Captain Garrovick was killed.”</p><p>“I know that.” The ‘sir’ was absent this time. Nogura let it pass for now.</p><p>Thoughtfully, the older man picked up his beads, slipping them through his fingers one by one. “His loss is a tragedy to the Empire. The Emperor himself was grieved to hear of it. How long were you on the Farragut, Kirk?”</p><p>“Eighteen months, sir.”</p><p>“A rather meteoric rise for one so young. Do you think you were competent enough for those positions?”</p><p>“No,” Kirk said simply. “The Captain is dead. It’s my fault.”</p><p>The beads stopped clicking. “<em>Your</em> fault? How?”</p><p>“I delayed firing.” There was a flicker of emotion that Nogura couldn’t name, but it passed very quickly.</p><p>“Strange,” Nogura murmured. “The report states that you were the only one who did not abandon his post when the cloud approached. Still, you say it was your fault?”</p><p>“If I had fired sooner, the Captain would still be alive.”</p><p>“Perhaps, perhaps not.” Nogura waited a moment. “In either case, I have a made a place for you at the Academy. Whatever your skill level at present, you could not advance further without obtaining those credentials.”</p><p>Kirk’s eyes widened. “The Academy? Did the Captain—”</p><p>“Captain Garrovick had nothing to do with this. For all his good intentions, he was unwilling to part with you.” It wasn’t entirely true, but it suited Nogura’s purpose for the boy to believe it so. “Your future will be of <em>my</em> design. You have promise; I intend to see it is realized.”</p><p>There was a sudden hardness in the young face. “And what is <em>your</em> price?”</p><p>Nogura chuckled. “Please, do me the justice of believing my motivations are different than the Captain’s. As lovely as you are, child, my greed does not involve flesh. Your fair, young body doesn’t interest me. No, I’m insuring the future. I want to use your power.”</p><p>“What power can I possibly have?” Kirk asked, totally confused.</p><p>“Not now, but someday—with my help and your own talents—you <em>will</em> have power.”</p><p>“You can read the future?” Kirk asked skeptically.</p><p>“I can read people. My power is dependent on my controlling the power of others. I need strong branches to my tree. Someday you will be one of my branches, just as Garrovick was.” Nogura sensed this boy could be much more than that, but it was still too soon to tell.</p><p>“Tomorrow you’ll enter the Academy on an accelerated program.”</p><p>“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”</p><p>Nogura waved dismissal and turned his attention to other matters. But a sudden flash of curiosity made him stop the boy at the door.</p><p>“You cared for Garrovick, didn’t you? You loved him.”</p><p>“No,” Kirk said quietly. “I only wanted to.”</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>Science Officer Spock was as puzzled as the rest of the crew by the new First Officer of the I.S.S. Enterprise. Number One had been suddenly and inexplicably transferred and replaced by this new man almost before Captain Pike could register a protest. Not that it would have altered the situation if he had. When transfers were expedited this swiftly, it was obvious the strings were being pulled from the top. Someone very highly placed in the Starfleet hierarchy wanted the first officer of the Enterprise to be James T. Kirk.</p><p>There was the usual scramble and shifting of loyalties that followed any disruption of command staff. Number One’s flunkies had to quickly choose where to switch allegiance under the new regime—shift to Pike or ride with the new boy’s obvious influence with Starfleet. It could be a signal that Pike was on his way out, or it could simply mean James Kirk had bought a few favors, and his light was temporary. It was a risky decision to make. A wrong choice could mean disaster.</p><p>Spock’s operatives sat back and waited for him to make a move. Would he make a bid to get rid of Kirk right away and thus move up a step in rank to First Officer, or remain content with his position? The Vulcan was confident in his support whatever his decision, but he was in no hurry. For over eleven years, he had been loyal to Pike, but recently the Captain had been slipping. Spock’s allegiance was based on efficiency and profit, not personalities. He would wait and see how this Kirk performed before taking action. Vulcans were known for their patience as much as for their ruthlessness.</p><p>Despite his youth and his too-fair prettiness, Kirk was surprisingly competent. Within a week, his section had been whipped into shape, and those who had assumed weakness from his appearance were sorely regretting it. The ones wavering on loyalties soon swung over to his side.</p><p>Pike, becoming nervous at his first officer’s growing support of the crew, made the mistake of sending Kirk down to Cestus II, in charge of subduing a rebellion of the colonists. Not only did Kirk return alive, but there were only two minor casualties on his landing party, and the operation was a glowing success. The confiscated dilithium the colonists had been hoarding was enough to keep the Emperor in amaranth and green slave girls for the next ten years.</p><p>Spock, in his position as science officer, had accompanied the second landing party, avoiding most of the fighting but present to witness the efficient search and seizure of the planetary treasury. There was very little unnecessary bloodshed, and the calculated profit on the mission was enough to cause his Vulcan eyebrow to raise appreciatively. He realized that Pike’s usual tactics would have lost them much of this bounty through brutality and carelessness. Kirk’s methods were subtler and much more thorough.</p><p>By the time the landing party returned to the ship, Uhura had sent the ship’s private grapevine singing with Kirk’s praises. As communications officer, her power was formidable, since almost all information filtered through her. She had been on Kirk’s side since the first day, more, Spock suspected, influenced by sexual partiality than by logic. In any case, she magnified the new first officer’s triumph more than ever. There was another quick shift of loyalties. Bounty talks, and Kirk was making them all a lot of credits in reward money. He even split his own reward among his private security officers, a cunning move that created an immediate doubling of the volunteer quota for his work shift.</p><p>Spock decided it was time to check this wonder boy’s history. He found himself strangely curious to discover exactly what had gone into the making of this marvel. Breaking the computer locks on Kirk’s personnel file was child’s play to the Vulcan, but what he found there was even more puzzling. Somehow James T. Kirk had managed to become weapons officer and relief navigator on the Farragut at age seventeen, though there was no mention in the record of how or why Kirk arrived on the ship. After a fast-tracked matriculation at the Academy, he was reassign to the Farragut. At age twenty, he was promoted to Chief Navigator—by merit rather than assassination. Impossible. At least it seemed so until he noticed the previous captain of the Farragut had been Sean Garrovick. It was no secret in Starfleet that Garrovick’s leash had tied directly to Nogura. Nogura was famous for raising his operatives from pups and shepherd their careers. It appeared Kirk was a prize example.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>When Spock reported to Pike’s quarters as ordered, he recognized the Captain’s condition had deteriorated. For the last six months, Pike had seemed to gradually be losing his grip on command. Burnout of this type was not uncommon with starship captains; the constant pressure was wearing. The necessity for watching one’s back was a killing tension that eventually took its toll on all of them, and for a captain, the situation was magnified one hundred fold. Pike had held this command for an amazingly long time, despite often been prone to moodiness and depression, but now it was obvious even he had reached his limits. The minute Spock stepped inside the cabin he could smell the faint traces of drug-vapor, indubitably amaranth, mixed with the heavier scent of whiskey.</p><p>Pike was growling and whining like an old lion who sensed its prime was past, but still ready to snap at any possible usurper.</p><p>“Spock, you certainly took long enough!”</p><p>“I came directly from the bridge, Captain. About what did you wish to discuss with me?”</p><p>Pike sat down heavily in his chair, eyes narrowed blearily on the Vulcan. “Sulu tells me you’ve been doing some private computer research. He seems to think you were able to break a couple of security locks.”</p><p>“Mr. Sulu would be wise to attend to his own affairs.”</p><p>“What happens on this ship, <em>is</em> his affair—he works for me!”</p><p>“I am aware of the Lieutenant’s loyalties. Are you now questioning mine, sir?”</p><p>“No, no . . . ” Pike soothed, unwilling to force the issue. “I know you back me, Spock. After all, what’s this young pretty boy to you, eh? You’ve been with me . . . how long? Twelve years?”</p><p>“Eleven point five,” Spock corrected quietly.</p><p>“Yeah . . . yeah . . . I know I can trust you.”</p><p>The Vulcan said nothing.</p><p>“You’ve been checking up on this Kirk, haven’t you? What did you find out? Who’s he working for? Ryland? Marcus? Which one of them is out to get me? Or is he just gunning for my job?”</p><p>“Perhaps you are misjudging First Officer Kirk. There is no evidence that his purpose here is to—”</p><p>“Bullshit!” Pike snarled. “You’re not blind. He’s getting ready to move against me. You know it and I know it.”</p><p>“I know nothing of the kind. As of yet, he has done no more than perform his duty with great efficiency.”</p><p>Pike’s eyes glittered. “You’re not going to tell me anything, are you? Damn, green-blooded bastard!” With a furious swipe, he flung everything from his desk onto the floor. “I’ll show you who still runs this ship! I’ll show that snot-nosed kid what real power means! Get out of here! Damn you, get out!”</p><p>Spock turned on his heel and left. He had seldom seen the Captain this drunk or this illogical. What little respect he still held for the man vanished. It was now obvious that Pike’s position as captain of the I.S.S. Enterprise was limited.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>Kirk felt an eerie tingle of apprehension in the back of his neck as he approached the Captain’s cabin. He told himself he was being paranoid; Pike had no reason to turn on him, he’d made no bids for power. He was a good first officer, better than Number One from all accounts. While he was quite aware that Nogura no longer trusted Pike—wanted him out, in fact—Kirk had little interest in Nogura’s political intrigues. Kirk was also aware that the old man controlled his destiny, spun his future with Machiavellian webs of power, had even wrangled this assignment for him. But whatever Nogura chose to believe, Kirk’s ambitions were his own to fulfill in his own good time, not to suit his mentor’s grandiose plans. He wanted the Enterprise, yes; his blood sang with the wanting of it. But he wanted to earn it by right, by talent. Pike had no enemy in him yet.</p><p>The new first officer had been careful to ruffle as few feathers as possible. Most of his caution had been wisely directed at the enigmatic science officer. A Vulcan, dark and mysterious as most of his race, watching him with blackly intelligent eyes, revealing nothing, observing much. Kirk kept his distance and did his own watching.</p><p>He buzzed for entrance at Pike’s door and it opened immediately.</p><p>“You wished to see me, Captain?” He gave the respectful salute as he spoke.</p><p>“Yes.” Pike was slumped down in his chair behind the desk. Kirk could smell the odor of brandy from several feet away. He kept his face expressionless. As Pike reached out and hit the lock on the door, Kirk’s prickle of apprehension increased.</p><p>“Have some brandy, Kirk.”</p><p>“No, thank you, sir. There are some duties I need to attend to later—”</p><p>“You refuse my hospitality?” Pike snapped. “Too good to drink with your Captain?”</p><p>Kirk hesitated. “No, sir. Thank you.” He poured himself a small drink, unwilling to antagonize Pike further. Pike was in a strange mood, a dangerous mood, and Kirk could feel the cold blue eyes raking over him with the strength of command he still hadn’t quite lost.</p><p>Pike straightened and stood, not as drunk as Kirk had first thought. He walked around the desk to lean against the front. “You like it on my ship, don’t you, Kirk?”</p><p>Warily, the younger man took a sip of the brandy. “Yes, sir. Very much.”</p><p>“Do you like the Captain?”</p><p>Kirk’s eyes flashed up to read Pike’s expression. “I don’t understand, sir.”</p><p>“Of course you do, boy.” Pike shifted forward, moving to within a few inches of the smaller man, towering over him by more than a half foot. “You’ve had plenty of time to settle in. It’s time to test your loyalty.”</p><p>Kirk refused to be cowed by the difference in size. He looked up calmly. “It hardly needs to be tested, Captain. I am loyal to your command.”</p><p>Pike smiled, teeth flashing whitely, eyes freezing Kirk. “Perhaps a little proof of that is in order.” His large hand cupped the other man’s smooth cheek. “How old are you, Kirk—really? Your records say you’re over thirty. You look hardly a boy. Who’s boy are you now, Kirk, Nogura’s?”</p><p>Kirk jerked away, flushing. “Captain—”</p><p>Pike’s laugh cut him off. “No need to be shy, Kirk. Garrovick was a friend of mine, years ago. He told me all about you. Promised to share you with me, in fact, but we never hit the same port again before he died.”</p><p>“That’s a lie!” Kirk snapped, standing up, eyes glittering with fury.</p><p>Pike backhanded him, knocking the smaller man back against the bulkhead. “Who do you think you are?” he hissed. “Watch your tongue, boy.”</p><p>Kirk pulled himself upright, licking the blood from his lip. “You’ve no right to say these things.”</p><p>“I’m the Captain; I say what I want to say and you listen. Can you deny what you were to Garrovick?”</p><p>Kirk remained silent, watching for an opening so he could get past Pike to the door lock. He didn’t like the direction this was taking.</p><p>Pike’s smile was evil, his voice silky and ominous. “Do you object to pleasing me, Kirk? Number One didn’t object. I can have anyone on this ship. That’s my right.”</p><p>“Don’t do this,” Kirk warned softly. “You’ll regret it.”</p><p>Pike laughed in ridicule. “You’re warning <em>me</em>? You rate yourself too high, boy. Nogura’s pup has no power here, remember that!”</p><p>Kirk had his back against the wall, bracing himself as Pike approached. “I have no quarrel with you, Pike. Don’t ruin it. It’s not worth it to either of us. Please listen to me.”</p><p>Pike’s face suddenly transformed to a single force of hate tinged with insanity. “You want my command! You want my ship! There’s one way of showing you who’s master here. A way you’re very familiar with, Kirk. I’m going to enjoy giving you this little lesson. Maybe you’ll enjoy it, too.”</p><p>Kirk dodged away, heart in his throat, panic building. He didn’t want this showdown, hadn’t asked for it. To strike out at Pike now was to draw the battle lines, committing himself as the enemy. Yet, to give in was even more unthinkable.</p><p>Desperate, but trying to maintain a reasonable calm, Kirk said quietly, “Captain, think about this. I do not want to take your ship. But I’m not going to be used by you. If you touch me, I’ll kill you—I swear it. Don’t force me kill you.”</p><p>Pike grinned. “What kind of pup did Nogura raise? Afraid to kill? Ball-less, just as I suspected. I’ve had men try to kill me, Kirk! You think you can succeed where hundreds have failed? Relax and let it happen, boy.”</p><p>Kirk edged closer to the door lock. “No.”</p><p>Pike shook his head. “Do you honestly think I’m going to chase you around the cabin like some virginal yeoman?” He pressed a button on the wall unit and the shelf slid open. He took out the hand phaser and trained it on Kirk. “Enough of this bashful nonsense. We both know what you’ve been. It’s time to relearn your lesson.”</p><p>The low stun setting held Kirk in a quick glow of light. He slumped to the floor, still conscious, muscles lax and helpless, skin buzzing with stinging darts of pain as the nerves protested the punishment. He gasped deeply as his heart and lungs remembered to work again.</p><p>Pike strolled over, dropped the phaser on the desk and picked the smaller man up easily. He carried him into the sleeping area and tossed him unceremoniously on the bed. Going back to retrieve his bottle of brandy, he spoke over his shoulder, “In case you’re still wondering, Kirk, Garrovick never said anything like that to me. He almost broke my jaw when I suggested it. You must be quite good. I’d never seen him so smitten before.”</p><p>Kirk was able to breathe more normally, but his arms and legs still felt like rubber; the weakness was so pervading he could barely turn his head from the awkward angle in which he had landed. He felt sick, from the stun and from terror. The past roared back to him—Kodos, pain, humiliation, helplessness—and something even darker in his past that he doesn’t dare think of. But he wasn’t a child now, he was a man! It couldn’t happen again. He’d worked too long, fought too hard . . .</p><p>Pike returned, drinking deep of the brandy, watching his prize struggle to move, to even turn over. “I’ll let it wear off a little,” he commented, almost to himself. “I don’t want it to be too easy.” He set the bottle down and unwound his tunic. He undressed slowly, gaze sweeping over Kirk hungrily. He knelt on the bed, turning Kirk onto his back and running his hands down the slender body. “You really are quite lovely, Kirk. You’ve wasted yourself in the ‘Fleet. You could’ve made a fortune on Wrigley’s.” He tugged off Kirk’s shirt, slipped down the black pants and briefs, jerked off the boots to free them.</p><p>He fingered the nipples, pinching them until Kirk winced, then fondled the limp cock, uselessly trying to coax it erect. Then he flipped Kirk to his stomach, suddenly too aroused to play further. He pressed against the smooth back, spreading Kirk’s legs, centering his cock and thrusting.</p><p>Kirk tried to speak, tried to cry out, but his throat was still frozen. Tears burned hotly in his eyes as he felt the hard flesh invade him ruthlessly. The pain was bearable, the humiliation was not. He bit down on his lip, stifling the sob that might have escaped.</p><p>A darker, more wretched memory flooded him; something he’d managed to bury through utter desperation to retain his sanity. A conscious refusal to face and accept an ugliness, a betrayal that he could not bear. Sam . . . his brother . . . a loved brother . . . trusted . . . admired . . . A night when his youth was robbed, his innocence destroyed . . . pain, fear . . . betrayal . . . a hurt too deep to live with. And sold away, torn from his home, his future. The birth of true hatred, hatred that had been diffused and thinned by Garrovick’s seductive, possessive love. Reborn now, so many years later, refocused on this man, this animal that took him now.</p><p>“I’ll . . . kill . . . you . . . kill . . . you . . . ” Kirk’s voice, hoarse, slowed by the stun effect, drawn out in a painful stretched mockery of its true tenor. “Hate . . . you . . . kill . . .”</p><p>Pike ignored him, lost in the delightful tightness that gripped him, drawing the ecstasy from him like an unwilling milking fist. He groaned breathlessly at his final release, shivering at the last liquid pulse.</p><p>He rolled off Kirk with a satisfied sigh. “Garrovick knew what he had, all right. You’ve a sweet ass, Kirk. And now you know who runs this ship—who commands you.”</p><p>He reached lazily for the bottle of brandy, but his coordination was poor and the glass shattered on the floor. His head dropped back down sleepily. “Get another in a minute. You wore me out, boy . . . ” His head lolled to one side, exhausted at last by the alcohol, the drugs, and the sex.</p><p>Kirk lay beside him, hatred building in deadly waves, waiting coldly—though not quite sanely—for the strength to return to his body. His purpose was simple. His patience endless. He heard Pike begin to snore beside him, and his lips turned up in a travesty of a smile. The fool. The incredible, unbelievable fool. He deserved death.</p><p>It seemed to take forever before he was able to sit up, able to inch away from the hot flesh of the hated body beside him. Forever and miles between himself and the sharp shards of glass littering the floor. Pieces cut into his knees as he knelt woodenly, hardly feeling the incisions. He waited until his hand stopped shaking, another eternity before he could grasp one of the larger fragments. It didn’t even occur to him to reach for the nearby phaser—that was too clean. He turned, eyes fastening on Pike’s sleeping face . . . Sam’s face . . . Kodos’ face . . .</p><p>He stuck the point against the man’s throat and threw his weight down on it. A gurgling scream came from Pike’s lips, a wild scramble of arms, one hand reaching out to strike the pressure plate at the side of the bed. Kirk held on numbly, pressing down with grim determination until the Captain’s struggles weakened and faded to stillness.</p><p>Kirk slid back to the floor, watching the flow of blood stain the bed and flow down to the deck.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>The quiet buzz sounded in Spock’s quarters. Eyebrow lifted, he shut off his viewscreen. It was a private signal from the Captain’s quarters. Trouble.</p><p>Another quick signal from Spock summoned his personal guard and alerted Pike’s men of a possible breach of security. He left his quarters and moved swiftly toward the Captain’s. At the door he paused and motioned for the guards to hold position outside. For all he knew, Pike could have hit the alarm while stumbling around in one of his drunken stupors. Spock overrode the lock and entered; the door swishing shut behind him.</p><p>Spock was not the most easily shocked person in the universe, but the scene that he surveyed made him pause at the divider, hand moving up to clutch involuntarily at the metal screen.</p><p>It was strangely quiet in the room, the slow dripping of blood onto the floor sounding louder than possible to his acute ears. Pike was quite obviously dead. Kirk’s head was bowed, his naked body also splotched with blood. He looked up slowly, eyes dull. Spock stood there for a full minute, as long as he ever took to assimilate anything. This was no simple assassination. The situation was apparent enough to turn even the Vulcan’s normally steady stomach.</p><p>“Kirk?”</p><p>The human’s gaze cleared. “Spock.” He looked over at Pike’s body, then back to the Vulcan. He shook his head, then smiled bitterly. “Go ahead, kill me. I know you’re Pike’s man, Spock. Finish it.”</p><p>Spock’s gaze flicked over to the phaser on the desk. “He stunned you first?”</p><p>“Does it matter?”</p><p>“You have nothing else to say?”</p><p>“What is there left to say? I killed him. So finish it, damn you! Do your part.”</p><p>For the first time in his life, Spock felt a true emotion. It shook him to the core, making him indecisive. He couldn’t quite identify it, the unfamiliarity of the feeling throwing him. At first he thought it was admiration—he had admired Pike once, so he understood that sensation—but he was feeling more than that of Kirk. Pity? Compassion? Awe? None seemed to quite fit the situation. One could not pity the lion-like defiance in the wide hazel eyes, nor feel compassion for a man who had achieved his own retribution. Awe, perhaps, for a man who could face annihilation without qualm. But it was more than any of those. There was appreciation of Kirk’s ability to accept the consequences of his actions without excuses, without defense.</p><p>Without fully understanding his decision, Spock addressed the man on the floor, “Take your clothes and go clean up. I will deal with the guards.”</p><p>Kirk looked baffled. “What—?”</p><p>“Please do not delay; there is little time.”</p><p>The young man did as directed without further comment. As soon as he was out of sight in the fresher, Spock returned to the corridor. “Have the Doctor report to the Captain’s cabin. It appears Captain Pike has committed suicide.”</p><p>There was a notable gasp, particularly from Pike’s security. There were some muttering objections which Spock cut off abruptly.</p><p>“This is unfortunate but hardly unexpected. We must have all noticed his increasing despondency in the last few months. First Officer Kirk will now be taking command as temporary captain until instructions are received from Starbase Command.”</p><p>One of Pike’s men spoke up, “Are we certain it was a suicide?”</p><p>Spock’s eyebrow lifted arrogantly. “Do you doubt my assessment, crewman? No matter. It is why I summoned Dr. Boyce. He will make the official report. In any case, you may all return to your previous duties.”</p><p>Whether they believed him or not, none of them dare object. They saluted and dispersed in different directions. Spock returned to the cabin to find Kirk dressed and standing at the foot of the bed staring down at Pike’s body.</p><p>“I didn’t want to kill him—no, that’s no right. I didn’t want to be <em>forced</em> to kill him.”</p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>Kirk sighed heavily. “So what now, Spock?”</p><p>“I suggest you return to your cabin before Dr. Boyce arrives.”</p><p>Kirk was too weary and dejected to ask any further questions.</p><p>* * *</p><p>Some hours later, Spock entered Kirk’s cabin, noting that he had not bothered to lock the door. Kirk was sitting at his deck, his head burrowed in his arms.</p><p>“May I come in, Captain Kirk?”</p><p>Kirk’s heads jerked up. “What do you call me?”</p><p>“You are obviously now in command of the <em>Enterprise</em>.”</p><p>“Not once Boyce makes his report. He’ll now it was murder.”</p><p>Spock shook his head. “I would suggest it was self-defense. However, Dr. Boyce will pronounce it a suicide brought on clinical depression and increased pressure of command.”</p><p>Kirk looked skeptical. “How do you know that?”</p><p>“Because that is what I instructed him to conclude. The Doctor also works for Admiral Nogura, as do you. As it is abundantly clear that Nogura will confirm your installation as captain of the <em>Enterprise</em>, it would be foolish for him to state otherwise.”</p><p>“But you don’t work for Nogura.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Kirk stood abruptly an paced a few steps, apparently trying to work something out. “Will you explain to me why you decided to protect me? Do you think I’ll be easier to take out than Pike?”</p><p>“I have no intention of having you assassinated. I would, however, appreciate being able to retain my title as chief science officer as well as my new position as first officer. I assure you I am capable of performing both duties.”</p><p>Kirk found he was actually able to laugh. He hadn’t expected to be able to do that again for a long time. “I am very sure you are, Mr. Spock.”</p><p>“Thank you, Captain,” the Vulcan replied complacently.</p><p>“But I do not believe you saved my hide just to achieve a promotion.” He stood in front of Spock, staring directly in the dark eyes. “You’re not going to tell me the real reason, are you?”</p><p>“No, sir,” Spock answered after a short pause. He could hardly tell the man that he didn’t know the reason himself. That was illogical and unVulcan.</p><p>“Very well. Then I don’t feel obligated to thank you for it. You’re dismissed.” Kirk went to the bed and lay down, arms crossed over his face, as if to hide anything exposed there.</p><p>Spock obediently turned to go but was halted by a soft voice.</p><p>“Spock. I do thank you.”</p><p>The Vulcan nodded his acknowledgement and went out the door. It closed behind him and he could the lock engage. Good, James Kirk was regaining his faculties—bruised but not broken. Perhaps never broken.</p><p>Spock stood there a moment as a flash of perception hit him and he finally understood why he had felt the need to assist James T. Kirk. It was the utter <em>aloneness</em> of the man that captivated the Vulcan most—that called to a similar aloneness in himself.</p><p>And Spock realized then, with a quiver not unlike a tuning fork that had struck a perfect note, that he had found a new loyalty—a final loyalty.</p><p> </p>
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